The Ladies of Horror
Picture-Prompt Writing Challenge!
Agony
by Kendra Hale
Patient Record #12241967
Therapy Session #24
If you are one of those people who can disengage and move forward from a situation, be grateful. I have been considered empathic my whole life and it is like sinking slowly in mud, again and again and again. It is like a glue meant to never wash off or remove. You are constantly miring through this muck that has never once belonged to you.
People claim it as a weakness, some as a strength. I claim it as a hell. Every person I have ever had a relationship with, even in passing conversation has left their mark on me. There isn’t a night I don’t look back on one or more of those who have left their stamp on what I can only consider my soul.
The worst part is that this also goes for people who have left my life for one reason or another. I used to love watching those ghost dramas and listening as people talked about being haunted until I realized that I was living that on a daily scale. It isn’t something I can turn off or move away from.
The emotional spectrum stays with me…even though the feelings aren’t mine. They have never been mine. The happy ones never last…
If I have felt hatred, those emotions wash over me like a sticky black tar.
Sadness feels like I am drowning.
Rage, all consuming…that one leads to a blindness of my mind.
If it is fed by my own rage I can not remember what happens.
Not until I wake …and there is usually blood on my hands.
But there is also this relief… I don’t remember what has happened and the emotion is gone, it is like it cycles out of me and another memory has bitten the dust. A blank slate that is now my own to write rather than other souls who happen into my web.
I will continue on this path…until my life is my own. Once and for all.
Fiction © Copyright Kendra Hale
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com
More from author Kendra Hale:
Just Emotions:
A Gothic Bite Magazine Anthology
A collection of poetry.
Please don’t forget to visit the other WiHM 12 projects taking place!
Excellent.
Thank you!!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡